Author Archives: Dr. Cathy Anthofer-Fialon

The boy born out of resilience

February 21, 2016 By in Adverse childhood experiences, Child trauma, Resilience 3 Comments

Aboy

A few months ago I published a blog, “A Mother’s Rage”. I re-accounted my rage and helplessness regarding my daughter’s high school rape in Miami, FL. I ended my post with words of hope. I wrote how several years had passed since my daughter’s assault. She was now engaged and pregnant with my first grandchild.  This is the rest of the story.

I held my daughter’s hand as she labored through the night with my grandson. I tried to comfort her fiancée, who felt helpless. I rubbed my daughter’s back, and held my breath each time she pushed. She pushed for five hours, but never gave up, because she is resilient. She brought her son — my grandson — into the world with her strength, love, and resilience.

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A mother’s rage over her daughter’s high school sexual assault

October 6, 2015 By in Adverse childhood experiences, Child trauma, Trauma 4 Comments
Amomdaughter3

Woman embracing young girl, sculpture by Gustav Vigeland. Vigeland Museum, Oslo, Norway.

I recently viewed Lady Gaga’s new video, “Till It Happens to You”. I have stifled my rage for a number of years now, because it wasn’t my trauma and the healing process is about meeting someone where they are. But, I am a mother. It is my trauma. It is my rage. It is my guilt.

According to the White House’s web site, 1 is 2 Many: “Over 11% of high school girls report having been physically forced to have sexual intercourse.” Much focus has been on college students, and rightfully so. However, the epidemic of sexual assault is not confined to college campuses. The epidemic is in middle school, high school, college, and beyond.

In 2012, while living in Miami, FL, my oldest daughter — 15 years old at the time (her last name is different than mine, which I will not share) — went to spend the night at a friend’s house. I did not know she had other plans. She was invited to a party, which she attended instead. At the party she was given alcohol spiked with drugs. Apparently it was a gang initiation, and her blonde hair and blue eyes had made her a target. She was gang-raped and tattooed. Those words haunt me. I choke on them. I’ve been a practicing pacifist for a long time, but this rage made me question my core.

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